Trust me...

It's amazing how people have different sides to their faces. I've never truly realized it. But now to think through it, I think people would be surprised or shocked to know some of my other faces! ;)

It is natural that people have certain tendencies at certain times. Everyone has their dark sides, be it their laziness, their aggressive nature, stupid stress-relieving methods, moodiness, etc. Nobody is perfect. Like for example, nobody knows me to have ever been grumpy and moody at times, but my friends never get to see such a side of me, maybe only my family members. Even if I am grumpy or moody I would not show it to my friends.

But we can only be truly ourselves with someone who we truly feel comfortable with. Sometimes we only show our true colours in front of our enemies, if we have any. Maybe our enemy knows us better than our loved ones!

What am I trying to say from all my ramblings? Its just that, no matter what our friends/loved ones have done in their past due to their "certain tendencies", does not matter when they finally share it with us. It shows that they trust us with their "dark side" being revealed to us. That is all that matters. Judging people based on what they have done in the past doesn't always work. Sometimes we have to have the courage to put forth our trust into them.

I've come to the point where I can take in any shock people throw at me. Or maybe not entirely. Let's wait for what's in store for me in life. ;)

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Thanks!

Thanks for making me feel miserable again.

Thanks for hurting me so much.

Thanks to you for making me realize never to trust anyone ever again.

Thanks to you for making me emotionally stronger.

Thanks to you for talking bad about me behind my back and making me feel guilty for having ever cared for you so much.

I am so indebted to you for many things you've done to me.

Thanks for everything!

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Long time no see my blog!

Its been such a long long time since I've written anything in my blog. And now it is simply too late, because there are so many things to write! So many overwhelming emotions bubbling inside of me. And I do want to let it all out... But what to say in a public blog? What can I say? My parents are already monitoring me, kinda... Haha.

But I would say this... I'm very happy at this moment in my life. I have really great friends, with whom I can share anything without any inhibitions. Developing friendships with some new people has given me a different outlook in life. Emotions previously suppressed are let free. So I feel happy :)

I know this happiness wouldn't last for long. But that doesn't and shouldn't stop anyone from enjoying the moment that is present right now. Happiness, sadness, anger, depression, anxiety, all won't last forever. Ultimately, I have nothing to be unhappy about because I have a loving family, a healthy body, studying very well, happy with my friends. What else more do I want? :)

Just some thoughts running in my mind and hope things turn out well... :)

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Beautiful philosophies and ideals explained through images of Gods

People have always looked up to someone in their life to follow in their footsteps. It can be their own parents, one of the relatives who are close to them, or friends. It can be anyone. But very few people look up to God as their source of inspiration and role-model! Because according to us, God is very high up there, with whom we cannot compare ourselves with. He/She is someone whom we run to only when we face troubles in our life. So we rarely remember God all the time.

Hindus have millions of Gods, or so we claim. It is always confusing to the youths when they see people putting in so much faith in so many Hindu Gods, and that too at the same time. Each and everyone of us have different "favourite" God (Ishta Devata). Where did all these God characters like Shiva, Vishnu, Ganesha, Muruga, Durga, Kali all come from? From our scriptures of course.

Rig, Yajur, Sama, Atharva Vedas - Mention of 44 Vedic Gods such as Agni, Vayu, Varuna, etc.
Agamas - Mention of Mahadevas and Mahadevis under three main sects: Shaiva, Vaishnava, Shakta
Puranas - Mention of Devas and Devis such as Ganesha, Muruga, etc... Devas are also Gods with specific functions/duties, but Mahadeva/devi is the supreme to them.

So it is in the Puranas and the Agamas which have the mention of these Gods we know about. Their stories are extensively described in our Puranas. So, why were they created? I mean, they don't really exist, as they are only representations of God, but in various different forms. But think about it, why would our Rishis waste their time sitting around and creating these images, if not to teach us some important values through them?

As the saying goes, Hindus don't pray to idols, they pray to the ideals that the idols represent. Similarly each idol in the Temple we worship has an ideal to it, and many people are ignorant about it. Once they become aware of why one prays to Kali, for example, their prayer becomes meaningful.

Ganesha - Remover of obstacles, giver of knowledge.
Rope and axe in both hands - He is the one who binds us to sense-objects and He is also the one who detaches us from the sense-objects. He gives us this experience to remind us that attachment to sense-objects (something that binds you emotionally to a thing) gives us only misery.

Lots of sweets (modaka) - The sweets represent knowledge. Knowledge is sweet and gives you happiness, as it removes your ignorance. When the darkness in your mind is removed, you will not fear anything, and so you will be in peace. Peace = happiness.

Mouse eating sweet - The mouse represents the human mind, something which doesn't remain in one place. Just like our thoughts, which keep moving and never stopping in one place. But the mouse, in the presence of the God, remains in one place, still. Not only that, we also see it here as eating the sweet, meaning consuming knowledge given by God.

Durga - Slayer of the negativities in us, and granter of wishes.
So many weapons in her hands - She multitasks!! Seriously, this is something only God is capable of doing. Though she is in a killing spree, look at her face. She is always calm and cool. She has taught me many things in life. During times of stress, I just remember Her and pray to Her, and I will forget all my stress for a while and move on. She does so many things at one time, and yet she never looks tired but looks calm. She is my inspiration!

Buffalo (Mahishasuran) - Represents laziness, animal quality in man. She slays this demon, and this represents that by praying to Her, we are asking for Her grace to remove the negativities in our minds.

Lion (vehicle) - So many Gods have animals as their "vehicles". A vehicle is something that is in our control. Similarly, the lion itself is in Her control! She is not scared of the lion, but she controls it!

Kali - Goddess of Time, and Slayer of the negativities. She is a very fierce Goddess, but I personally like Her very much. Anyone, who sincerely prays to her, She will grant them their wishes. Also a God who is controversially involved in black magic as well, which I will come to later.
Kali (very fierce) - The word "kali" means time. Kali appears fierce because time doesn't stop for anyone. Most of us, or maybe all of us, hope that we could turn back time and correct all our mistakes. But it doesn't happen! As such, she is fierce like time. Time just keeps moving on, not stopping for anyone. Not even for God!

Decapitated heads in her hands - The head represents the ego. Our ego has to be surrendered to the Mother Divine, if not She will take it by force! Only by surrendering our ego will we be able to experience the Truth. It is our ego that gives us the sense of "I-ness", "I am the do-er", the sense of ownership. It is our ego that gives us both pleasure and pain. Surrendering the ego is our only way to attain eternal bliss. This statement is something that is not easily comprehensible by everyone. It has to be experienced to be understood very well.

So many weapons - Why does she appear to be so violent? Because that is how BAD our negativities are!!! She has to use all kinds of weapons to chase away the demons in us!! Just think about it! If you are in Her place, you will definitely need those weapons wouldn't you??

Kali and Shiva - While Kali represents the "changing" reality, Shiva represents the "changeless" reality. Let me explain more clearly: When you measure time, you take final time minus the initial time right? This shows that to measure time, a change has to take place! If no change takes place, then you cannot measure time!! The entire universe is constantly changing, and thus the existence of time. Another fact is that to measure change, you need to have a reference point, something which is changeless. Therefore, change is always measured with reference to something changeless, and this changing reality (Kali) is therefore dependent of the changeless reality (Shiva). That is why Kali is stepping on Shiva. This is the significance of the whole image.

Why is Kali sometimes used in black magic? - Whatever the tantric mantras produce are just energy. And energy is just energy by itself. It can be used for good and for bad, depending on us. So if it is used for bad, then it becomes black magic. Whereas, if the energy from the mantras chanted are used for good, then good results.

Murugan - A Beautiful Philosophy (Just like Him)
Depicted always with 2 consorts - Lord Muruga is always depicted with 2 consorts and they are not really His wives!!! This is the part where many don't really know why some Gods have more than one wife. First of all, they are not wives, they are consorts or forms of Shakti (energy). So what do they represent? Deivanai (Consort from the Heaven) represents Kriya (action). Valli (Consort from the Earth) represents Iccha (desire). Murugan has another Shakti with Him and that is His Vel (spear) which represents Jnana (Knowledge). Basically, to attain a goal, firstly you need desire for that goal, then you need to have the right knowledge to attain that goal, then finally you perform actions to attain that goal. That is the philosophy explained from the image. Also if you notice, Valli (who represents iccha/desire) was married by the Lord due to His desire for Her. Whereas Deivanai (who represents kriya/action) was married by the Lord as a "gift" for His good actions of eliminating the demons.

Vel (spear) - As said earlier, the Vel represents Jnana, knowledge. The breadth of the spear-head, the length of the spear and the sharpness of the spear all tells us that our knowledge should be broad-based, deep and sharp respectively.

After learning all this, I found myself to be more open in my views about Hinduism. Sure, there are many superstitions. But don't just be passive about them! Do something! Find out whether they are really true or not! Never stay with doubts in your mind! Hinduism is so much more meaningful than it really seems to be! My perception of Temples, prayers and all changed after learning even more than this!!

Visit http://www.nushindusociety.org/forum for more such learning experience!! :)

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Atmashtakam

Hi everyone! This is my first attempt of a beautiful devotional :) It has very beautiful meanings, written by the great Indian philosopher: Adi Shankaracharya!! I love this song very much. I truly hope my rendition is good... Although at some places I seem to have sore throat... At the middle of the song, my voice changes slightly due to the soreness, pls don't mind...

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Song: Atmashtakam
Singer: Priya
Written by: Adi Shankaracharya

Mano Budhya Ahankara Chithaa Ninaham,
Na Cha Srothra Jihwe Na Cha Graana Nethrer,
Na Cha Vyoma Bhoomir Na Thejo Na Vayu,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 1

Neither am I mind, nor intelligence,
Nor ego, nor thought,
Nor am I ears or the tongue or the nose or the eyes,
Nor am I earth or sky or air or the light,
I am Shiva, I am Shiva, of nature knowledge and bliss

Na Cha Praana Samgno Na Vai Pancha Vaayur,
Na Vaa Saptha Dhathur Na Va Pancha Kosa,
Na Vak Pani Padam Na Chopa Stha Payu,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 2

Neither am I the movement due to life,
Nor am I the five airs, nor am I the seven elements,
Nor am I the five internal organs,
Nor am I voice or hands or feet or other organs,
I am Shiva, I am Shiva, of nature knowledge and bliss

Na Me Dwesha Raghou Na Me Lobha Mohou,
Madho Naiva Me Naiva Matsarya Bhava,
Na Dharmo Na Cha Artha Na Kamo Na Moksha,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 3

I never do have enmity or friendship,
Neither do I have vigour nor feeling of competition,
Neither do I have assets, or money or passion or salvation,
I am Shiva, I am Shiva, of nature knowledge and bliss

Na Punyam Na Paapam Na Soukhyam Na Dukham,
Na Manthro Na Theertham Na Veda Na Yagna,
Aham Bhojanam Naiva Bhojyam Na Bhoktha,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 4

Never do I have good deeds or sins or pleasure or sorrow,
Neither do I have holy chants or holy water or holy books or fire sacrifice,
I am neither food or the consumer who consumes food,
I am Shiva, I am Shiva, of nature knowledge and bliss

Na Mruthyur Na Sankha Na Me Jathi Bhedha,
Pitha Naiva Me Naiva Matha Na Janma,
Na Bhandhur Na Mithram Gurur Naiva Sishya,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 5

I do not have death or doubts or distinction of caste,
I do not have either father or mother or even birth,
And I do not have relations or friends or teacher or students,
I am Shiva, I am Shiva, of nature knowledge and bliss

Aham Nirvi Kalpi Nirakara Roopi,
Vibhuthwascha Sarvathra Sarvendriyanaam,
Na Cha Sangatham Naiva Mukthir Na Meya
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 6

I am immutable, I am without form, omnipresent on account of my all-pervasive
nature; I am not even associated or attached with my sense organs. I am not
salvation, nor the knowable; I am the very form of knowledge and bliss, I am Shiva, I
am Shiva.

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Got my UROPS!

Well, here goes my upcoming holidays... I guess I won't be having anymore holidays like I used to. I am both happy and sad. Happy because I won't be spending all day sitting at home and just slacking, just browsing the net and watching movies, reading books. Happy that I would be running around, busy with something rather than slacking at home. But also sad that I won't have time to spend with my family, or just slacking a little while at home... Slacking for a little while is ok, but its not when you only slack for the entire day!

I got my UROPS!! UROPS stands for Undergraduate Research Opportunity Programme in Science. I had approached Prof Kini Manjunatha a.k.a. Prof K. He called me down to his office and we sat down and talked. When he asked what I'm passionate about, I was just blabbering... I went blank! Thank God, I was atleast able to say something. But all turned out well, and he started explaining to me all about his lab research.

They are working on snake venoms! Interesting, because they have just come out with a drug using one of the toxins, modifying it a bit, to reduce blood pressure! Can you believe it? Amazingly, toxins can be of help to humans! I am really interested to get started and working on the toxins... I am just waiting for my camp to get over and so I can start working on my UROPS. Research work takes long time, so its better to start early. I still don't know what my project is gonna be, but I hope it would be interesting and that I will learn something worthwhile. Its all in God's hands to make it a success or a failure, while I put in all the efforts I can. I'm simply excited!

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Aligning your thoughts, speech and actions...

It is said that for a person, the most important of all things is his thoughts. It is one's thoughts that become one's words, and it is one's thoughts that also become one's actions. And one's actions determine his character and a lot more. As such, it is only logical to say that one with good thoughts is a good person who speaks good words and does good things; and that one with bad thoughts is a bad person who speaks and does bad things.

Logically, one can arrive at this decision. But by experience, you can confirm this truth. In my 22 years of existence, I have seen what has happened to good & bad people when they have moved on to afterlife. Such an experience and examples, right in front of me in my own extended family in India, has deepened my principle to always have good thoughts about oneself and others.

Sometimes you might think that what could possibly go wrong in my life if I think badly about someone else? Or if I curse someone else? But in whatever we think, say or do, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Newton's third law has already been thought out and explained in our dharma shastras (it is difficult to give a direct translation, as the words mean a lot more than intended, but I'll call it moral scriptures of the Hindus). The concept of karma is now accepted and regarded as logical by many people today. The common phrase they like to use is, "what goes around, comes around." Or they will say, "what you sow is what you reap."

Taking examples from my own family, the people I know closely either directly or indirectly from what my parents discuss, this truth is proven again and again. I had a great grandmother who had just passed away a year ago. My mum said about some horrible things she did, that didn't keep the people around her happy at all. She had hurt many people by her words and actions. Later she reformed her ways, but she was tossed around from one home to another as none of her sons wanted to keep her in their homes for long. She lived a long life, but for a year before she passed away, she was in a lot of pain and couldn't wait to put it to an end.

My great grandmother on the other side, who is still living but a little sick, is someone who is grumpy, always nagging and such an irritating person. She is the kind of person with whom you can never be comfortable having around. But she doesn't wish anyone any bad. She does not curse others or harm others in any way. You know how old people get grumpy and feel insecure as they age? That is how she is like. But never thinking bad about others. And look at her now. She has a good house, people are there to take care of her, she gets her monthly allowance and a devoted son (my dad) who takes care of her and provides for her.

My grandmother, on the other hand, is a living example of what will happen if one has bad thoughts. She is in such a financial mess right now, and also not being able to discriminate what is right and what is wrong, who is jealous of her own daughter-in-law and maybe also jealous of her own daughter (my mum)! I believe that someone who curses and thinks bad of another person, is never really inflicting that curse on that person but to oneself!

Its a simple rule: You do good, people will do good to you! And believe it or not, you think good, you will speak good, and you will do good. So it all lies in the way you think. Train yourself to think positively, that no matter who the person is, just think good about that person and nver bad. Your life will transform right before your eyes! It is very difficult to be honest, especially to yourself. But a honest person is one whose thoughts, speech and actions are aligned in the same plane. Otherwise he is a hypocrite.

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Results... Semester 2, 08/09

I'm quite surprised with my results this semester. Usually I would be getting at most a C+, pulling down my CAP, and my core modules would usually get the worst grades ever! But this time around, due to extra efforts I put in, my CAP improved! God, am I glad or what!! Here it is:

LSM2103	Cell Biology	B+
LSM2104	Essential Bioinformatics & Biocomputing	B
SN1101E	South Asia: People, Culture & Development	A-
SN2271	Religion and Society in South Asia	B
ST2238	Introductory Biostatistics	B-

Not bad for Cell Bio, considering I didn't do so well for my 2nd test, I got atleast a B+. I was expecting an A- as the exam was quite okay. I guess many people did quite okay for the exam and the bell curve got shifted to the right a bit. As for Bioinfo, I am so so glad for getting a B!! The exam was tough! Open book exams are always difficult to handle. I guess it would be alright now to take the 3rd year Bioinfo module, or not! Biostats is the worst... I expected a B for it and got a B- instead :( But I guess its justified, considering the high number of marks I lost for the final exam. I was so worried, and B- is certainly better than a C!!

I'm doing a South Asian Studies Minor... Last semester I took Tamil Studies I, and for this semester, I took the compulsory South Asia: People, Culture and Devt module, and a module about Religion in South Asia. Not bad grades, and I'm only too happy for my compulsory module, considering I'm a science student. The B for the Religion module is understandable, considering I lost a solid 20 marks for the final exam, due to my complacency. I promise to myself that I will never be over-confident about any module again, just because I think I know about it better.

I'm really happy and also worried. Happy because my CAP improved and that means my confidence in myself has gone up. I am only 0.15 points away from qualifying for Honours, and this means I have to work much much harder next semester, getting all B+ and above! This is what worries me. Sigh... Well, it does not matter to me whether I do Honours or not, but what I want is to graduate with a good set of grades and CCA Records. Best case scenario would be to get an Honours, and continue on with a PhD. But not-so-worst case scenario would be me not being able to qualify for Honours, graduating with a Third Class, pass with merit, struggling to apply for Masters... So no matter whether I do Honours or not, I want to graduate with atleast an 2nd Lower, meaning above CAP 3.5...

Where I end up... the results are all in God's hands. I will just do my best and give my best in everything. We'll see...

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Humans!

Just for the past few weeks or a month, I've been noticing and hearing about men with horribly-gone-wrong minds! Neither will I side with the women and say that they have not gone wrong anywhere. But I should say that men are a lot worse than woman when it comes to thinking and/or doing "dirty".

Just few days back there were two cases of men (one Indian and one Chinese, this shows that even race, religion, ethnicity doesn't make a difference!!) displaying/exposing their private parts to women in a park! This came out in the news and it is now under police investigation. Evident enough that this is not a simple matter to just ignore and leave. What guts does it take a man to expose his private parts to a woman in the public and that too in broad daylight?! That person can only be a mentally-disturbed psycho person! What prompts him to do such an idiotic act? Do the guys ever know how hurting this is to the girls? It is really a traumatic experience for the girls and it would take atleast a day or two just to overcome the shock of it, if it were for the first time for a girl! It is really mentally disturbing for the girls, and guys never realise this!

A recent case of the Austrian guy who had 7 kids with his own biological daughter just confirms the extent of abnormality of the minds of the men!! Gosh! Simply unbelievable, shocking news it was! Again, what prompts these kind of guys to commit such hideous crimes?!

Every thought, word and action counts and makes a huge difference to one's character and disposition. If your actions are good (charity) but your intention behind those actions are bad (to show-off), then does it make a difference? All our lives we are being hypocrites. We're thinking one thing, but doing something else. Guys talk/act very well in front of their women friends/colleagues but who knows what "dirty" thoughts are running in their minds? Let's not be hypocrites please!

You can argue, that for such thoughts to arise in our minds, its only natural. Just because it is natural doesn't mean that it should be let to run as it likes. If our intellect doesn't have control over the whims of our minds, then who will? And by control, I don't mean to say that one should resist one's desires or thoughts. By control, I mean not to have such desires or thoughts unnecessarily and abnormally. Don't let your mind run awry!

Don't forget your morality! Just a few weeks back, I had an argument with two of my friends regarding an issue: pre-marital sex. One of my friends was saying that it is alright to have pre-marital sex as long as both the parties are truly in love with each other, trust each other and that both know where they are heading. The other friend didn't exactly argue, but he agreed with me that it not morally correct to have pre-marital sex. I'm really glad to have met such a person who argues that way, because I'm sure not many guys think that way!

Why do I say it is not moral to have pre-marital sex? Firstly, our scriptures say so. I am very much a person who abides/aspires to abide by the rules of morality put forth by our Shrutis and Smritis (to a lesser extent). It is true that I am not knowledgeable by what is written in the Vedas. Therefore, I cannot quote any verses from there. But I can definitely, by logical explanation, come to the conclusion that pre-marital sex is wrong.

Many of us are blinded by our desires that we tend to forget the very basis of morality inherent in us. Yes, ours is the country which celebrated sex and even prompted Vatsyayana to write the Kamasutra. Its true. But who was the Kamasutra wrote for? It was written for married couples to fulfill one of their purposes in life (out of the four purposes: Dharma, Artha, Kama, Moksha). Seeking pleasures and entertainment is one of the goals in human lives. But the basis of that seeking should be Dharma. And Dharma tells you to follow Truthfulness, Non-violence, Non-stealing, Brahmacharyam (continence), Patience, Determination, Compassion, Simplicity, Moderate Eating and Purity (of thoughts, speech and action).

By having pre-marital sex, you are violating one or more of the above Dharma. Namely:
1. Truthfulness - because most probably the promise between the two would not be kept
2. Non-violence - because you will most probably end up in hurting each other emotionally
3. Brahmacharyam - this is pretty obvious
4. Compassion - whatsoever compassion you had is now all lost, as you didn't even think of those persons or even yourself who would be hurt by this action!
5. Purity - such an experience will remain in your mind forever, even if you move on and marry another person, you might feel guilty that you've been the cause of hurting someone or betraying your newly-wed

You can now ask, why should I control my sexual tendencies? Why should I be a brahmachari or brahmacharini, till the right time I step foot into the Grahastha Ashram (married life)? Such tendencies, if you notice, only give you momentary happiness/bliss. It is a distraction, nothing much. Before you know, you will be back to square one. You can channel that energy into something much useful rather than exploiting someone for your desires. Not only is the bliss momentary, but also it is a hurtful experience. No matter what justification you can give, saying that both the parties are very much in love and that both know what they are getting into, the hurt and distrust would be there for sure. We all seek security afterall, especially the women. Moreover, time will change everything. People who were "very much in love with each other" once, can change with time. What will happen then?

Some people would argue, then is marriage a license, guaranteed to contain the joys of a physical relationship?! I will give you a resounding NO! Who asked you to marry so that you can have a sexual relationship? One should marry because one loves the person very much and wants to spend the rest of the life with her/him. It is a basic respect you show for the other person, and you are only tainting this relationship if you have pre-marital sex. You are disrespecting your partner.

I'm not writing this post to stop all those guys out there from achieving their hideous, mis-directed desires. You are not obliged to pay attention to my personal ranting through this post and uphold Dharma. You can go ahead destroy Dharma, because you are in the Kali Yuga. Dharma is already going down in the drains, anyway. My post is not powerful enough to stop all those dirty-minded men out there. Who is to stop them, if they are meant to be that way? Maybe they will, if God Himself comes and tells them all this? Then what?

If we are good persons, just so that we will not go to Hell, then we are an awful sorry lot indeed!!!

Note: My post title was initially "Men!" but I changed it to "Humans!" This is because, I felt that I am being unfair to all the GOOD guys out there if I were to only address the men. This post is equally (or maybe less?) applicable to any guilty female as well, who harbors such "dirty" thoughts in their minds.

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MESSAGE OF LORD McCAULEY: Thursday, 08 May 2008,

EVERY INDIAN SHOULD KNOW THIS MESSAGE OF LORD McCAULEY Lord McCauley’s speech in British Parliament on 2nd February, 1835 for converting India to a land suitable for them to rule and make Indians the British slaves : “I have traveled the length and breadth of India and there I have not seen one person who is a beggar, who is a thief. Such wealth I have seen in this country, such high moral values, people of such caliber, that I do not think we would ever conquer this country, unless we break the very backbone of this nation, which is her spiritual and cultural heritage and, therefore, I propose that we replace her old and ancient education system, her culture, for if the Indians think that all that is foreign and English is good and greater than their own, they will lose their self esteem, their native culture and they will become what we want them, a truly dominated nation”

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