My thoughts run free here...

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Enthiran - Robots have feelings?

A few weeks back I had gone out with my parents to watch Enthiran. The movie was, of course, really wonderful, fantastic and excellent in all aspects! At first the concept that a humanoid has feelings boggled me. I simply couldn't come to accept it but since it was just a movie, I didn't really care about it.

Although now, thinking about it makes me realize that it is possible. For this, I started thinking of how do feelings arise. How do feelings come about? A machine only has knowledge stored in its memory. It has a "brain" that consists of intellect, memory and the questioning capability (meaning it is able to learn from experience). What is this brain made of? It is nothing but wires, connections and electrical impulses flowing through the machine that makes it move and so on.

Now looking at the human brain, it also has memory, intellect, the questioning/learning capability AND one more thing: ego. This ego is the notion of "I"-ness. A robot may not have the awareness of "I", meaning itself. But we humans have this self-awareness. We look at things and objects around us and are able to say, "this watch is mine" or "this is my hair". But a robot does not do this. The robot does not have ego.

However, somehow this ego is born in this robot called Chitti when it starts to recognize something or someone as belonging to him. Chitti starts to identify certain things as belonging to him and therefore, desires start arising in him. 

When the notion of "I" is born, desires arise. It is very natural for all of us. And once desires arise, emotions take place too. When you acquire a desired object, you are happy. When someone else gets it instead of you, you are jealous. When someone or something is an obstacle between you and the desired object you are angry. When you lose the desired object, you are sad. So now we can see clearly, that when desires arise in us, so do the emotions. 

Since our brain is also nothing but neurons (in place of wires) with connections and electrical impulses (just like the robot's "brain"), it is also possible for humanoids to have emotions and the notion of "I".

One wonderful movie that portrays whatever has been discussed in this post is "I Robot". It is a wonderful movie and I personally like it more than Enthiran.
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Friday, November 5, 2010

Tapping on the Unknown Factor

It has been so long since I've made a post in this blog. Therefore, I would like to start today, especially when it is such an auspicious day like Deepavali. There are many stories behind Deepavali. The general theme of them all, however, is the inevitable victory of good over evil. This assumes that there are two opposing poles called good and evil. This is a wrong assumption because evil is just the absence of goodness. So in essence, there is only goodness, but when it is absent in someone or something, we call it evil. 

There is a wonderful short story I came across from one of my friend's email. It says: 

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil (Adharmic) -  It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good (Dharmic)-  It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed." 
Therefore, victory of good over evil simply means the victory of Dharma over Adharma. By deeply analysing the above story for just today, just for a few minutes, let us all try to recognise the "evil" in us, and let us try to uproot it. Let us make a promise to ourselves today that by the next Deepavali I would try to conquer one of my "evil" qualities. Be it anger, jealousy, false pride or laziness. Anything. Let us make this promise quietly to ourselves and change ourselves for better. If there is no "evil" in you, then let us try to cultivate one of the good values like truth, generosity, compassion or humility. 
The one who protects Dharma, that Dharma will protect him. The equation works like this. When you protect Dharma, meaning when you do Dharmic actions, you earn merits or punya. More punya can counter the sins or paapa you gathered so far. So during dire times, the punya that you have earned by doing Dharmic actions will save you. This is what it means by "dharmo rakshati rakshata".

Such being the value of Deepavali festival, I hope you now realize that you can actually wish anyone a Happy Deepavali, be it someone of another race, religion or nationality. This is because the value of this festival applies to everyone. And as we celebrate the festival today with our family in any way possible, just remember Ishwara who is the reason behind all your happiness. Pray to Him, get His blessings and live Happily! :)

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A small dream came true today! :)

I love dogs! Many times I've not had any opportunity of playing and spending time with dogs. However, today I had that opportunity. I visited my friend's house and she had three cute boys: Burny, Skye and Coozer... Two golden retrievers and a labrador... So cute! I loved the time spent with them. They were all friendly dogs!!! :)
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Monday, August 16, 2010

Must Read Book - Demolishing Christianity

A wonderful critique of Christianity written by a learned Hindu, Chattampi Swamigal:

After reading this critique, so filled with logic and excellent reasoning, Christianity no longer seems like a sane religion to me. It is filled with such illogical concepts, that every paragraph of this book made me laugh out loud!

Hindus are said to be very tolerant and respectful towards other faiths. We don't attack them at all. However, when they attack Hinduism we also don't defend ourselves. Such losers we are! 

A real and sincere Hindu will always defend his/her Sanatana Dharma. On of our primary duties is to speak the truth. When the truth is being attacked and falsified by other faiths, it is our duty to defend that truth and speak the truth always. That is what Chattampi Swamikal did in this book of Kristumata Chedanam (literally means "Demolishing Christianity"). A sincere Hindu knows that Sanatana Dharma always existed even before the Vedas were revealed to humankind. Just like how gravity always existed, even before its discovery by Isaac Newton.

Be equipped with knowledge! Don't remain ignorant! 

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Friday, July 30, 2010

A Church Bans Yoga!

Here's the news article that is of the title of this post.

This news is ridiculous, but the fact is that people of the Christian faith, especially those in the position of maintaining the order of the Church, are very afraid that their religion will be taken over, stampeded upon or thrashed down by another rival religion. Why are they so afraid, if what they have in their religion is solid? How can there be any room for confusion, by just doing some simple spiritual exercise like Yoga?

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Thursday, July 15, 2010

'Confessions' of a vegetarian

For the past two years or so, everyone of my friends and family members know that I was a vegetarian. Yes, you've read correctly. I used the past tense. I was a vegetarian. I do owe an explanation as to why I reverted to non-vegetarian diet because many of my closest friends still don't know.

I converted to vegetarian diet mainly because of health reasons. And for the same health reasons I've converted back to non-vegetarian. My being vegetarian did help me a lot. It helped me to control my cravings for chicken and fish. I used to only eat chicken and fish to a small extent, and that too only those that were home-cooked. I don't like mutton, neither am I a fan of other meat varieties. Therefore, it wasn't really a big leap for me to convert to veg. The journey was alright, although I did have some difficulties finding for food. I was still eating egg, and that saved me a little. 

Still, I had some surprised non-veg friends and family members. They got used to me eating only veg. It helped me spiritually to a certain extent as well, as I am a spiritual person as well. 

After a while, starting this year, I had started to experience iron deficiency. Moreover, my periods were becoming very irregular. I had no other reason to fall back on, except for the iron deficiency. Therefore, I had to revert to non-veg. It was not an abrupt reversion. It was slow, starting with fish, and then chicken made at home.

I feel good right now, because the difficulty of finding veg food for me is gone. My family and friends are happy. I am also not craving for chicken or fish whenever I go out. I wasn't fussy when I was a veg. Neither am I now. I go out without worrying whether I will get veg food. I am alright with either kind. And that is what I want to be like. Dependent on nothing.

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An excerpt from Angels & Demons

An excerpt from Dan Brown's Angels & Demons:

As Langdon moved toward the first recess, he passed the tomb of one of Italy's Catholic kings. The sarcophagus, like many in Rome, was askew with the wall, positioned awkwardly. A group of visitors seemed confused by this. Langdon did not stop to explain. Formal Christian tombs were often misaligned with the architecture so they could lie facing east. It was an ancient superstition that Langdon's Symbology 212 class had discussed just last month.

"That's totally incongruous!" a female student in the front had blurted when Langdon explained the reason for east-facing tombs. "Why would Christians want their tombs to face the rising sun? We're talking about Christianity... not sun worship!"

Langdon smiles, pacing before the blackboard, chewing an apple. "Mr Hitzrot!" he shouted.

A young man dozing in back sat up with a start. "What! Me?"
Langdon pointed to a Renaissance art poster on the wall. "Who is that man kneeling before God?"
"Um... some saint?"
"Brilliant. And how do you know he's a saint?"
"He's got a halo?"
"Excellent, and does that golden halo remind you of anything?"
Hitzrot broke into a smile. "Yeah! Those Egyptian things we studied last term. Those... um... sun disks!"
"Thank you, Hitzrot. Go back to sleep." Langdon turned back to the class. "Halos, like much of Christian symbology, were borrowed from the ancient Egyptian religion of sun workship. Christianity is filled with examples of sun worship."
"Excuse me?" the girl in the front said. "I go to Church all the time, and I don't see much sun worshipping going on!"
"Really? What do you celebrate on December twenty-fifth?"
"Christmas. The birth of Jesus Christ."
"And yet according to the Bible, Christ was born in March, so what are we doing celebrating in late December?"
Langdon smiles. "December twenty-fifth, my friends, is the ancient pagan holiday of sol invictus - Unconquered Sun - coinciding with the winter solstice. Its that wonderful time of year when the sun returns, and the days start getting longer."
Langdon took another bite of apple.
"Conquering religions," he continued, "often adopt existing holidays to make conversion less shocking. It's called transmutation. It helpes people acclimatize to the new faith. Worshipers keep the same holy dates, pray in the same sacred locations, use a similar symbology... and they simply substitute a different god."

Now the girl in the front looked furious. "You're implying Christianity is just some kind of... repackaged sun worship!"

"Not at all. Christianity did not borrow only from the sun worship. The ritual of Christian canonization is taken from the ancient 'god-making' rite of Euhemerus. The practice of 'god-eating' - that is, Holy Communion - was borrowed from the Aztecs. Even the concept of Christ dying for our sins is arguably not exclusively Christian; the self-sacrifice of a young man to absolve the sins of his people appears in the earliest tradition of the Quetzalcoatl."
The girl glared. "So, is anything in Christianity original?"

"Very little in any organized faith is truly original. Religions are not born from scratch. They grow from one another. Modern religion is a collage... an assimilated historical record of man's quest to understand the divine.

"Um... hold on," Hitzrot ventures, sounding awake now. "I know something Christina that's original. How about our image of God? Christian art never portrays God as the hawk sun god, or as an Aztec, or as anything weird. It always shows God as an old man with a white beard. So our image of God is original, right?
Langdon smiled. "When the early Christian converts abandoned their former deities - pagan gods, Roman gods, GReek, sun, Mithraic, whatever - they asked the church what their new Christian God looked like. Wisely, the church chose the most feared, powerful... and familiar face in all of recorded history."

Hitzrot looked skeptical. "An old man with a white, flowing beard?"
Langdon pointed to a heirarchy of ancient gods on the wall. At the top sat an old man with a white, flowing beard. "Does Zeus look familiar?"

The class ended right on cue.

I love this excerpt. I don't know how much of it is true. But still, it proves two things for me.

(1) Christianity is man-made and therefore, the post of "God" has been imposed upon. It has been transmuted to suit the converts' requirements and acceptance of Christianity and nothing else.
(2) Christianity too gives some form of importance to image of God and so on. It is not only the Hindus who worship images. So they have no right to point fingers.

Imagine how opposite Hinduism is. I am clearly being biased here, or so you might think. However, any logical person would arrive at the conclusion that Hinduism, unlike Christianity, had never changed its fundamental precepts to suit the needs of the converts. It has been sincere through and through. Unlike Christianity, Islam or Judaism, God in Hinduism has never been seen as being separated from the Universe that was created by God. Indeed, everything is God, the Universe is God, the energy that holds everything together is indeed God. Hinduism is simply brilliant.

I am fascinated with Hinduism because it made me see the world as it is, with the things we superimpose upon it.
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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A Tribute to NUS...

Wow... I never thought this day would come this fast! On 10th July 2010, Saturday, at 10am in NUS UCC was my Commencement Ceremony. I am now officially graduated from NUS, with a Bachelors Degree in Life Sciences, Pass with merit. So I guess its the end of the journey? Apparently not, according to a lot of people. It is the commencement of a new chapter in your life. 

But I see it as an end to my joyful days in life. Friends have all scattered off and gone in different directions, becoming busy in their own lives. Have to get a job, have to get a house, have to get married, etc, etc... Life moves on, in different directions though. I don't know if I will ever meet some of my friends after that evening. And if I do, then I know for sure that those friends will be with me for long!

I don't know how all those times went by. Everything seemed like it just started yesterday. I simply loved my time in NUS, especially the parts I spent with my friends. Not the stressful times in exam halls and labs! I really will miss them all. But at this point of time, I really have to thank my friends for making it a wonderful time in NUS! I thank Kasturi, Chanta, Mathu, Jayu, most of all!! I know we girls will stick together for a long time to come! Thanks for being there for me always! :) I love you all!!! 

I have a lot of people to thank. But none of them will be reading this blog though. So I am only thanking people who will be reading this post :) I had a wonderful 3 years of my life! Thanks girls! :)
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Monday, July 12, 2010

Ballerina is spinning..... which way?


If you see the girl turning clockwise, your right hemisphere dominates:
So if this is you, then you are highly creative, you use your imagination, feelings and perception of space, you are sensitive to symbols and images, you enjoy exploring the future and thinking philosophically…

If you see the girl turning anti clockwise, you use your left hemisphere:
And if this is you, then you are a logical thinker, you rely on realism, words and language. you are attracted by maths and science, knowledge, and specifics...

If you manage to see it turning in the both directions:
You are both a left-brainer and a right-brainer. But the first direction you see in the ballerina is what you predominantly are. You can try to change the direction of the ballerina spinning though. I did it the first time, was difficult. But it comes easily with practice. :)

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Monday, July 5, 2010

Addicted to the Internet + Tyra Show Link

I usually wonder sometimes if I am addicted to the internet. I seem to be spending a lot of time sitting glued to the laptop than go out and have some good time elsewhere. But for the whole of the weekend, I didn't sit glued to my laptop all the time. Some times I do get out of my room and do something else at home. But still when I get back to my room, the first thing I do is on my laptop.

Not only then, the first thing I do when I wake up every morning is to on my laptop. It has become like an automated habit of mine, just like brushing your teeth and showering in the morning. I am also happy whenever I come online, after spending a long time doing something else. So am I addicted? 

Then I further thought about this... I like youtube-ing, facebook-ing, blogging, and sometimes watching movies online too. This is all I do. And yet, I feel like I got addicted to the net, and I wonder if I would ever be able to live without the computer... It also makes me wonder if this is good or bad. 

My sister is forever glued to her laptop. After observing her, I wouldn't want to do the same to my child in the future. I want my child to be more sociable and closer to the family, also doing his/her best in studies. Not sitting in front of the laptop, forever on the internet. God only knows what he/she is vulnerable to on the net! There are both good and bad things online!! 

Many out there today, especially teenagers, are badly addicted to the internet. This was where I found out more about it. Take a look:

Do watch this and the following 4 more parts of it. Interesting show! :)

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Thursday, July 1, 2010

Raavanan below par?

It is amazing that films like Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya, Ayirathil Oruvan, Raavanan, etc. never make it above par in any part of India. Exactly what is wrong with such films? Yes, its true that when you first watch these films, you go like, 'what the..?' But when you think deeper of it, many new attempts have been made in various aspects of movie-making. The imagination, the art, the screenplay, the cinematography, and so on. Many attempts are being made to improve Tamil Film Industry and its decomposing standards. 

But the story is totally different when it comes to people's opinions. They have already been 'conditioned' to like cheesy, commercial films like Sura, Villu, Singam, etc. that have nothing new in it, are heavily stereotyped, and commercialised to sell like hot cakes! Then it is 'of course' that people prefer these kinda films as compared to 'art movies' like those stated in the beginning of this post. 

Just imagine the kind of hard work, imagination, creativity and dedication that has gone into making Raavanan. Would any film director of these commercial movies (I don't even know their names!) be able to take such a story like Raavanan's and picturise it so beautifully?? Even though the story is something that we know of, you would be surprised of how many people (let alone Indians!) have no clue as to what Ramayana is all about!! It takes talent, imagination, creativity, and a gifted vision to make such a movie possible. 

It is true that Oscar-winning movies are never really most-watched before it wins an Oscar, but after it does, MANY people watch it and it suddenly becomes the most-watched movie! It seems that people like to stick with what others like, and are never really bold enough to form their own opinions and views, no matter how diametrically opposed they are to that which the society deems as right. What a sad case!

So here is it... I like movies that I mentioned above, and to top it up, I like Eeram, Yaavarum Nalam, etc. etc. Any movie that doesn't belong to the category of commercial entertainers... These movies stand in my mind longer than the commercial ones, which I do watch also, but the instant I leave the theatre or finish watching the movie, I forget about it. Those movies are only 3-hours of pure entertainment, nothing more. Something like a one-night-stand versus a long-term relationship!!

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Just feeling like...

... I want to become nothing... go into nothingness... I don't want to feel anything... I don't want to think anything... I don't want to know anything... I don't want to do anything! 

I wish I could just jump down and drown in my own world, in my own dreams, and never come back to reality. It sucks! 

Thank God I have a little fear for heights. Thank God there is no river nearby my house. Otherwise, I would have jumped down into any one of them, whenever I think about nothing in life giving you the happiness you need... 

I know I am not the only one who's feeling this. I wouldn't even be feeling like this, if I were a poverty-stricken person like in Africa or India. I would have more pressing matters in my mind than to think of how uneventful life is...

I wish I know how to be free of all the shackles in life...........

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Thursday, June 24, 2010

Raavanan? :)

I might just have sat down in front of this laptop, wanting to write a post on the new movie Raavanan which I watched yesterday. But then, I found that there is no point to say something that has already been told by others! :)

I found the cinematography wonderful! Music was awesome! Vikram stole the show! Aish was lovely! Period.

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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Wish You A Very...

I feel so so so so so so so lucky that I am born and have been brought up in this way, with great friends around me... I hope it would last for a little longer :) I just don't know how to express my gratitude. But I know that the only way to express this gratitude is by making others I love feel lucky that they have me around. 

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Monday, June 14, 2010

Fake Swamis and Cults

This is a random podcast, made in Tamil, but I thought this fit well in this heading of Clearing The Clouds, so I am posting it here, instead of under the Random section that I am yet to create. This podcast discusses about fake swamis and cults, deriving the topic from a recent Neeya Naana episode on a similar topic. 

Download link is here (Right Click and Save Target As).

This is the link if you wish to watch the Neeya Naana episode: 

The two links mentioned in the podcast are these:
1st link:
2nd link:

Music is from Madharasapattinam movie. 

I hope you like this podcast, and please provide your comments and suggestions. Thanks!
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Thursday, June 3, 2010

यह प्यार एक ऐसा जस्बात है 

जिस से रिश्तों का मौथाज बन न पडता 

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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Unpaid labour

As I am writing this post, I am making a mental note to inform you that I am a liberal feminist, and therefore believe that the notion of gender is a socially constructed one. I believe that men and women are equal but have been constructed mentally to believe that men are stronger, smarter than women or that women are more sensitive, emotional than men. If this were absolutely true, then there would be no exceptions to this rule, and yet there are.

So having said my point, now I will come to the matter that has been bugging me. Well, not really bugging me but I've been thinking about it. It seemed really unfair when I came across with this statement that said that men contribute mostly to the economy, men's contributions to this and to that, etc. It seems unfair because, to think about it (as the phrase goes), 'behind every man there is a woman' helping him achieve that contribution... Be it a mother, wife, sister or aunt. Anyone!

Why is it they are 'behind' the man? Shouldn't it be beside the man? Is it always about the man? The son? The husband? If they never have had any women 'behind' then, they wouldn't have contributed this much to the economy in the first place. Women are, in short, doing unpaid labour. And it is not mostly labour of love, but of slavery, sorry to say. They are slaves to their own low self-esteems. 

But I wouldn't say the same for the females today. I think they are actually more arrogant than men in some aspects. My belief is that, if the man is a really good person, then doing all the household work for him, cooking for him, cleaning for him, would become a labour of love. But if the man is arrogant, egoistic, and conceited, then I say dish the labour and be more selfish! However, today the females are dishing their labour even when the man is really good.

And would it kill the guys to learn some cooking? I think the age of shared house-keeping is here as both the spouses are going to work... I am sick and tired of hearing and watching people constantly bickering about this.
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Monday, May 31, 2010


I don't make it a point to comment about movies extensively. Neither am I going to do this for this post. But I just want to say something here. Please go watch Neninthe telugu movie on youtube, which comes with subtitles in english.

It is a movie about cinema. It actually made me re-think my pre-conceived notions I had on cinema. A good movie overall.

On the side note, I can't wait to go to my new house!! :) Sigh...
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Tuesday, May 25, 2010


इतने पास फिर भी इतनी दूर 
इतना स्पष्ट फिर भी इतना कलंक 
कैसे बताऊँ मैं
इस एहसास का मतलब?

ऐसा चमत्कार मेरे ज़िन्दगी में आया 
मेरे मन का अँधेरा को साफ़ किया
अरे मोरा कान्हा!
सिर्फ आप है इसके कारण!

हे गोविंदा!
हे कृष्णा!
हे केशवा!
आपकी आशीर्वाद सदैव हम सब पर रहे!

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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Heer Ranjha

The song Ranjha Ranjha has really fascinated me. I was wondering what the name 'Ranjha' meant and did a small google search. I also found its roots in a Punjabi classical song. Just listen to this:

The first two lines are the same from the song in Raavan. Fascinating isn't it? Also the story of Heer and Ranjha is a famous one in Punjab! Once again, it is a famous love story just like all the Romeo-Juliet, Laila-Majnu kinda stories we have heard so far:

"Heer was an extremely beautiful woman born in a wealthy family "Sayyal". Ranjha (Teedo) was the youngest of four brothers, after a confrontation with his brothers, Ranjha left home and travels around and comes to Heer's village, where he found his love, Heer, who offered him a job to take care of there cattle. Having met Ranjha, Heer became mesmerised by the way Ranjha played the flute (Wanjli) and eventually fell in love with him. They would meet each other secrectly for many years until they were caught by her jealous uncle "Kaido" and parents (Chuchak & Malki). Heer was forced to married to another man "Saida Khera", with the full permission of "Mullah" (priest), who was well-payed by Kaido.

Ranjha was left broken hearted and left to walk the quiet villages on his own until eventually met a Jogi (devoted beleiver in God). Having entering Gorak's Tilla (Shrine) Ranjha could only see his departed lover and being emotionally scared he voluntarally became a Jogi. Reciting the name of the Lord "Allakh Naranjjan" on his travels around the Punjab he found the village, where he was reunited with Heer. They escaped (also with Saida Khera's sister "Sehti", who was in love with "Murad Baluch" - an another famous love story of Punjabi Culture) but was caught by Maharajah's police. Maharajah punished him to jail but same night whole city was in flames. Maharajah freed Ranjha and permitted him to marry with Heer.

They came back to Heer's Village, where Heer's parents agreed to their marriage. On the wedding day, Heer's jealous uncle, "Kaido" poisoned her so the wedding wouldn't take place. Having heard the news Ranjha rushed to aid Heer but was too late as she died. Ranjha becoming broken hearted once again and died on her grave." 

The song is amazing and it does not bore you no matter how many times you listen to it! 

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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Water from heavens above

Waves of water splashed onto me
But I didn't feel a thing at all
'Cos there was a glass between me
And the water from heavens above

A child separated from the mother
A lover separated from the beloved
A friend separated from the dear one
Such was my state
In the event of the downpour

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Monday, May 10, 2010

Talking to myself

I've tried imagining a world without all those man-made things. I realized simply how many things man has made up! That is a lot of things you know! Just imagine... Whatever is left behind that is not man-made would be the Earth with its trees, plants, and all other living organisms, and finally the humans who are just part of the 'other living organisms'. What is it that separates the humans from the rest of the things that are not man-made are those that are man-made; meaning the things that came out of man; out of his mind. And if you further reduce the entire universe into its basic constituents, you end up with the five elements: earth, water, fire, air and space; from the gross to the subtle.

Yet we take so much effort to beautify our lives, which if you think in comparison to the grander scheme of events, is utterly insignificant. We make so much fuss about all the problems in life, which will seem silly if you just make a small comparison with that problem and the wider scheme of things. This kinda reminder would always serve its purpose in case our ego gets inflated and blinds our discriminative capacity. Instead of getting too entangled into the problems in life, just think of where you stand with reference to the universe, then your problems become insignificant. The 'heck care' attitude is the best!

But that doesn't mean that you disregard your 'to-be-done' duties. Life should be lived according to your wishes but if certain things are to be done then then they have to be done! Just go on with your life, enjoy it, and then later forget it. Probably that is why we end up with Alzheimer's in old age...

(This blog post is for myself. Me talking to me. I didn't mean it for anyone else.)
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Thursday, May 6, 2010

The making of a graduate

Life seems to be free and open from where I stand now. I have completed my university education and I'm not thinking of what to do in life next. Of course, I have to go and find a job and start working. I will do just that. But I've come to realize that research is not something that I would want to do for the rest of my life. I have other interests to pursue. With God's blessings, I hope I will be able to achieve what I set out for. 

I wouldn't say that the struggle for life begins now that I have graduated. Instead, I see my whole life ahead of me, inviting me with open hands, for me to go and achieve whatever I want to! I feel that I have been empowered to seek whatever I want in life and achieve it. Was it the university education, or my friends, or the books I read, I don't know. But I feel like I've grown so much and yet still not grown fully. There is lots more in life to learn, I realize!

Neither am I scared of my future prospects. Whatever it is, I will have to face it. All I have to do is never to loose sight of my individuality. Easier said than done... Sigh. 

Wish me luck!
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That I am

I am not a daughter.
I have never been one.

I am not a woman.
I have never been one.

I am not a human.
I have never been one.

I am not my thoughts
I am not my feelings
I am not my memories
Neither am I my mind

I am not my values
I am not my opinions
I am not morality personified
Neither of these I am.

Who, then, am I?

I am birthless.
I am immortal.
I am infinity.
That I am.

I am existence.
I am consciousness.
I am bliss.
That I am.
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Saturday, April 17, 2010


Hi everyone! I'm posting after a long long time! Nope! I've not forgotten my child, that is my blog... :) I wanted to start this new chapter in my life, cos I'll be graduating soon from NUS, with an article review. Basically, I'm just gonna respond to an article I came across, which hurt me a little. You can read it here.

This article, in summary, is written by an Indian Poly student. He is not happy with the increasing influx of foreigners, especially Indians from India. The following are the reasons he quotes, and my responses along with them:
1) Many Singaporean students felt they were being denied the chance to be the first in the subjects and tests. Shouldn’t public schools be focusing on nurturing our own talents?

-  Denying the chance to be the first? You will be the first, if you deserve the place. You are never behind in any race. All the students, regardless of whether they are from China or India or any other country, have the same brain, the same functioning capability, and the same fundamental concepts taught to them. Eventhough they come from another country, they undergo the same education under our system as all of us. But they can perform better because of their individual skills and not because they have come from China or India. 
- Scholarships are also provided to the locals, mind you. Meritocracy rules here in Singapore! Nothing else!

2) Similar to the situation between PRCs and Singaporean Chinese, there is very little in common between Indian PRs and us. Little India has been all but overrun by them. Local Indians now try to stay away as far as possible. We have been crowded out from the restaurants, markets and temples.

- If "foreign" Indians have not at all been allowed into Singapore, then there would be no Little India, there would not be this many temples as they would all have to be closed down due to low incomers, as of the markets no need to say anything at all. Foreigners form an integrate part of our land. Infact, to think of it, all of us were initially foreigners. Because we had never always been in Singapore. Most of us have come from either India, Malaysia, Burma, China, etc. a few generations back. So in that case, ALL of us are foreigners...

3) Most PRs who come from India are not Tamil-speakers and generally look down on South Indians, who Tamils belong to.

- I agree to this statement to an extent only. Because this happens in India as well. Not just in Singapore. Northerners do have a certain condescendence regarding their skin colour being akin to Westerners. However, we cannot generalise and say this is true of all non-Tamil speaking Indians.
4) There is a belief among Indian PRs that they are in demand to work in Singapore because the local Indians are not as good as they are, and therefore they behave with a sense of superiority and snobbishness.

- This one, I'm not entirely sure of. Again a sweeping statement is made about the foreign Indian PRs. I am not defending anyone here. But only telling you not to speak of it, without showing proper evidence. Even if this might be true in the initial stages, Indian PRs do learn to accept and live with the rules and regulations set by fellow Singaporeans.
5) The scourge of castes has completely disappeared in Singapore. We see each other as Indians and nothing else. But these PRs are bringing in their prejudices from India and corrupting our local culture.

- Hello! Have you forgotten that you are an Indian too?? Remember that you are an Indian with a close or distant Indian origin! The caste system will never disappear completely, not in India and not in Singapore. It is a fact of life and part of life, it will exist. Nothing can be done about it. In what way are they corrupting our local culture? So are you telling that the Chettiar Temples in Tank road and the Sithi Vinayagar one have corrupted our local culture?? Please think before you pen down your thoughts to a newspaper for publication!

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Monday, March 15, 2010

Teacher or The Teaching?

This is all I want to tell to all those people there still trapped in the 'Nithy' trap...

When you are on the path of seeking the Truth, because you have become fed up of your life, then you will be desperate enough to follow someone and anyone to attain your goal. But in that journey, you get so attached to the "teacher" and not his/her "teaching"! That is the mistake people make...

All these new age cults, if you notice, they are very teacher-centered. Examples include Isha, Shri Shri Ravishankar, whoever else, you name it! I agree that these people are doing good, doing charity, teaching meditation... But would you only learn all these meditation, yoga and stuff if all these come from a person wearing ocher robes?? Is that ocher robe really important??

Observe other groups that also have Swamis. Look at Chinmaya Mission and Arsha Vidya Gurukulam. They are never teacher-oriented. They don't even advertise their charity projects. In fact, you wouldn't even have heard of Swami Chinmayananda or Swami Dayananda Saraswati until you come across them here in this blog. These people don't advertise themselves in magazines, give discourses on youtube, etc. They teach Vedanta, and other Hinduism disciplines like Yoga, Ayurveda, Sanskrit, etc. And they charge minimal for that too.... Not to the extent of US$6000 for a 21-day programme!!

Believe in God, not people who claim themselves to be God. A truly realized person will never even openly tell that he is God. Because it is for him to understand, not for the others. Pls come out of the dark, people! Pls lets think by ourselves...

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Friday, February 5, 2010

Something something...

If you see that someone's behaviour has drastically changed for the past few months, you can just conclude that the person is seeing someone. Behaviours like frequent disappearances, not joining his/her friends for lunch/dinner like usually he/she does, weekends have suddenly become busy, skipping lectures (sometimes), etc. When you finally see that person with that someone, and that too frequently, then you can confirm for sure!
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Monday, February 1, 2010

Is there an eternal heaven?

Hi guys... I have written a post in my other blog on whether there is such a thing as absolute evil. Do please read it :) In this post, I am going to negate the concept of the eternal heaven or paradise. 

Take note of the term "eternal heaven". I am not saying that heaven does not exist. Neither am I saying that heaven does exist. The existence of heaven is just a belief that a lot of people have, which cannot be confirmed unless we are dead. Provided that we have done enough good to even "see heaven".

I am referring to the concept of an heaven which is eternal. Meaning permanent. Is there such a thing as eternal heaven?

What is impermanent? 

How do we go about defining what is impermanent? If we know what is impermanent, then by the law of remainder, we will know what is not impermanent. Therefore, let's look at how we can define what is impermanent. 

Something that is impermanent, is that which has a beginning and an end. Do you agree? It has a birth and a death. This laptop is impermanent. This blogger website is impermanent. Forget the laptop and the blogger website. This whole universe is impermanent! Because all these have a beginning and therefore an end too. Meaning, they are bound by time

These impermanent objects are also bound by space. If this laptop is not bound by space, then it can be at several places at the same time. Heck, it can be everywhere at the same moment in time! But it is not! This laptop is here on my desk. It occupies space. Therefore, it is bound by space. 

Therefore, everything that is impermanent is bound by time and space. It also has a name and form. Are you with me so far? So now, let's look at our eternal heaven. The concept of heaven is a place where you go to after you are dead, or rather where your "spirit" goes to after the body is dead, and experience eternal happiness. We can observe two things from here:

1) Heaven is a place, a conception which is clearly bound by time and space if you think about it. Clearly, it has a name and a form. So the question arises, where is this heaven? Who created heaven? So before creating the heaven, where was the creator? The fact that heaven was created itself shows that there was a beginning for heaven -> immediately you can conclude that it is bound by time. Therefore, heaven is impermanent and thus there is NO such thing as an "eternal heaven". If there is such a place called heaven, then it will be an impermanent experience.

2) Is happiness an experience or understanding? If it is an experience, then that happiness is impermanent. Because every experience begins somewhere and ends somewhere. No experience lasts forever. Therefore, you cannot "experience" eternal happiness. It is a state of understanding. (How you reach this state of understanding is not within the scope of this post.)

So now we know what is impermanent, what then is not impermanent? Take note that I did not use the term "permanent". Something that is not bound by both time and space is not impermanent. Something which the impermanent "objects" depend upon. Something that is an independent reality. The Hindus call this independent reality Brahman.

This is a side-track. I did not mention two more definitions of what is impermanent. Anything that has an attribute attached to it, for example colour, quality, quantity, etc., is of an impermanent nature. Anything that has this attributes is subject to change. Therefore, anything that is changing is impermanent. 

Why am I very sure that such an independent reality (Brahman) really exists?

Everything around us is changing. Just think about this. Appearances change. Technology changes. Ideologies change. EVERYTHING! 

But a change cannot be measured without a reference point. For example, how do you measure time? Time = Final - Initial. Right? You always measure something with a reference point, which will be your "Initial". Similarly, by analogy, there should be a reference point to measure all this change around us! This reference point is what we call the Changeless entity. This Changeless entity is that which is not impermanent, not bound by time and space (meaning it is eternal and omnipresent), it is called Brahman.

P.S.: My point in writing this post is for me to read it once again in the future and understand the evolution of my thought processes. This post is not meant for everyone! Only a select few will be able to fully understand the entire content of this post and its implications and appreciate it. The rest will understand, but not fully. Do comment if you have any opinions to express or questions to ask! All views are welcome!
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010


I miss D.

I miss P.

I miss M.

Why are all my
loved ones far away
from me this sem?

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Monday, January 25, 2010

Why there is nothing different between a man and a woman...

There is an issue for which we don't give much thought to and we just carry on with our lives. That issue is gender. Just look around you. Everything is gendered. Starting from names, toilets, clothes, accessories, to behaviours, practices, and code of conduct. Movies exhibit these gender differences very well, and the media has been a major contributing factor for instilling notions of maleness or femaleness in our minds.

Take an example of going out on a date with a guy/girl. Girls usually dress up for the guys. Guys open doors for the girls and pull out the chairs for them to sit. Guys pay for the dinner. A very typical gendered notion comes into our minds when we think of a setting in a date. This is just an example. Infact, everything in our lives is gendered in one way or another. Even the way we dress.

But come to think of it, why do these differences in roles, behaviours and practices exist in the first place? The main reason is that it has been a social construct. All these behaviours and so-called rules on how a man and a woman are supposed to behave have been construed by the society. Things like a man should not cry or display emotions, a woman should be submissive and sensitive, etc.

Let's look at this objectively. The only thing that is different between a man and a woman is the biological role. Man can provide one part of the haploid cell that can fuse with the other part of the haploid cell in the woman and the woman can give birth to a child. That is all the difference. The difference stops there. Consider the rest, with regards to rights, education, freedom of speech, freedom of thought, etc. They are all the same for both men and women. No one has a particular superiority or inferiority title attached to them. Because after the child, it becomes the responsibility of BOTH the men and the women to take care of the child, not just the women.

So my fellow humans, let's break down this polarity. Let's break down these differences. Men and women are both humans, that's all. There are no differences between them. The roles might be different biologically, but that doesn't confer a difference in cognition and expression of emotions. Because there are women out their who are emotionally strong and there are men out there who are emotionally weak. So we cannot generalise and demarcate the differences.

It is ok for guys to cry too. It is alright for women to speak out loud. It is alright for guys to put on make-up to present themselves better. It is alright if girls don't put make-up on or dress nicely in uncomfortable clothes. Let's just deconstruct all these differences and the next time you do anything, think if your behaviour is in any way gendered. If it is, then understand that you needn't necessarily label it as such.
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Sunday, January 17, 2010

Interesting Neeya Naana episode...

This episode of Neeya Naana, although it is quite old, is really amazing! I am very impressed at the views expressed by the youngsters today. Do go to and watch the entire episode, while I am only embedding the 1st part of the show here:

I think it is the 5th part of this episode videos,in which the topic about thaali (the sacred thread) comes about. Many of the males in the opposition side bravely raised their hands and said that they will not tie thaali in their marriage ritual! I am simply amazed! And not to mention these people are from "staunch" countries like Madurai, Dindukkal, etc., where the tradition and religious practices are deeply rooted in the society.

My personal opinion on this subject matter, on whether marriage rituals are necessary or not, is entirely objective. As long as you do not see any value for the rituals, you don't have to follow it. It is entirely your choice. But because I see a certain value to these rituals, I know they have meanings, they serve a certain purpose, I would go for it.

The so-called sacred thread, thaali, did not even exist back then, many centuries ago! It became a necessity somewhere just a few centuries ago, probably because of Mughal and British invasions. But now, in a free society, I think there isn't any need for thaali anymore.

So back then what ritual was there that thaali-tying has now replaced? You must be wondering... Well, there was a ritual called "kanya daanam". The father of the bride will bring both the bride's and the bridegroom's hands together and join them together. Plus there is the Saptapadi (7 vows taken in 7 steps around the sacred fire). After joining hands, the couple has to take their 7 vows together. That is all there is for marriage, no thaali tying all.

For me, I don't know if I will wear a thaali. I want my marriage to take place as per the original Hindu ritual where there is kanya daanam, and all, but no thaali tying. But I don't know whether this will happen in this way. There is no use in wishing for something and building up expectations for something and in the end, it not happening and you getting disappointed. So I am going to just leave it at that.

Thaali = male domination: Now this is an interesting viewpoint. I never thought about this! But come to think of it, it is really male domination! IF and only IF the males have forgotten that they have to wear their metti (toe ring)!!!
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Happiness expires in....

I don't understand why people still hanker after happiness, one after another, even though they know that it will not last forever... Everything in this world seems to have  an expiration date stamped on it; "Gives happiness till xx-xx-xxxx"! I'm so sick and tired of running after something, hoping I will be happy after I get it, and then the next day, realising that the thing has changed or I have changed.
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Monday, January 11, 2010

Tough choice.... Feeling down...

Sigh... Now I have to drop my MNO1001 Management and Organisation module so that I can take LAH2201 Hindi 2... I really wanted both the modules, but they are clashing, so I had to choose one. I chose Hindi, although I wanted MNO1001 since my first year.

I oddly feel so lonely nowadays... It has been ages since I've gone out with my friends. Why am I feeling like this? Not only that, but I also feel I have no friends who understand me fully. I am not saying that they have not been good friends. But just that I want to have a friend who understands me better than anyone else. Someone with whom I can relate to very well, and share my feelings with without any restrictions.

You know sometimes this kind of friend can even be a stranger. It is funny, but sometimes with a stranger you can be very free and outspoken, especially because you have no expectations from him/her. It is an odd feeling. I know this but I have not experienced this.

I don't know why I am feeling this way. I have to get used to my loneliness and to the fact that there is only me who understands me better than anyone else. Or I should say there is only God who understands me better than anyone else. And I happy with this.

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Sunday, January 10, 2010

I got all my modules!!

Ahh... I'm so happy today. My presentation in Hinduism class went well :) My group was the first one to go, thank God! And so we finished it off. I was alright despite the fact that we only prepared on the day itself. I didn't stammer this time, and my friend said I did well... I can't believe it, but I am happy nonetheless.

Amongst all this tension, I did not check my bidding status for my modules. I bid only in the morning at 9am. I put 1200 points for MNO1001 Management and Organisation, and 840 points for SC2220 Gender Studies. The winning bids for MNO1001 was 651 and for SC2220 was 701. Thank God I got the modules!

I have always wanted to take MNO1001, since my first semester here in NUS. Now, I got the module when I have reached the end of my NUS life :( Well, I hope I would do well in this semester and I could continue on for my 4th year. Let's see...

So this is my timetable for this semester:

It seems like I have so much of free time right? Haha. That is just an illusion. Only 4 modules are shown here. Well, I have a 5th module, which is my UROPS (Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program in Science) project. I would be spending all my free time and late nights in my lab doing experiments... Sigh. So this semester is not that easy for me. I would still have presentations, homeworks, etc. Especially this semester I am learning a new language, Hindi. Also not to mention, the Diploma course I'm doing every Sat. I'm thinking of also taking the Sanskrit Course conducted in Hindu Centre. So this semester will be a heavy one, but I will enjoy it for sure, as I am doing everything which I really like doing! :)
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Saturday, January 9, 2010


Now, I am completely satisfied with the way my blog looks... :)

Hope I won't change it till next year... Haha..
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Friday, January 8, 2010

Arrrrggghhhhhh!! I want a nice layout for my blog.... Why do I get so bored of whatever layout I put up?? I know what I am looking for, now why can't I find it!!! This layout is not working for me... :( Sorry ppl, I'm gonna keep changing the layout, bear with me.... This one stinks... The links above don't even work.. :(
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Thursday, January 7, 2010

What will you do?

What will you do if someone thinks bad of you even when you only meant good?

What will you do if someone thinks you are faking a smile, when you smiled sincerely from your heart?

What will you do if someone thinks you are a trickster, when you are only being friendly with them?

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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Kai Kodutha Deivam (The God who helped)

Something amazing happened today... Although things went bad in the lab today, help came to me at the right time. I still can't believe it.

It was 8pm and I was still in my lab. My autoclave all went wrong so everything got delayed, but I wasn't panicking. I was cool.

After my autoclave was done, I had to immediately do inoculation. But before that, I had to check the machine in which I'm going to put the flasks in. I checked and I found that most of the racks were already in use, although I booked the machine. I was irritated at that point of time.

But there was still some space. Just when I thought, okay thank God, there is some space to put my flasks in, then came another problem. I couldn't find the racks that fit my 1L flasks. Well, I did find them, but I didn't know how t fix them. There were so many samples in the machine already!

I was almost about to give up and thought I would do the inoculation tomorrow. I stood there and thought for a while what to do. There were only a few people in that floor and I didn't know anyone there. Sigh..

Just when I was about to give up, a man came in and asked me if I was using the hood, in which I left my stuff. I said yes, I will be done soon. He was about to leave, but then I was desperate so I called him and asked if he could help me fix the racks.

Well, it is not really a tough job to fix the racks, but the thing is I've never done it before. The guy helped me fix the racks. For him, he had to finish his work soon and go home. I was in his way, and helping me would help him in a way. But still, you have no idea how glad I was to have someone help me just when I needed help!!!

This is not the first time this happened to me. This has happened a lot of times to me. Whenever I needed help, it came to me at the right time, usually in some form; person or object.

Wait, there's more...

So after finishing everything, I left home, thinking how lucky I was to get some help at the right time. I mean for you, the readers, this might seem like a small thing, but I was in the situation, so I know how much it means to me. So when I got back home, the first thing I did was tell my mum and dad about this. They were watching Vannathirai channel. And you know what was the title of the movie that they aired today??


I was so shocked! Pleasantly surprised more like! Now, what are the odds that this movie was to be aired today, just when I had gone through something similar? Gosh, I was so shocked!

Kanna! You are simply wonderful! You are always there for me, looking after me, taking care of me, being there when I am happy and sad! I haven't prayed to You for some time, and yet You never fail to help me when in need! I only have to exclaim, "Krishna! What is this? Why am I put to test like this all the time?" And that's it! You come there, in some form, to help me! I see You in all the people around me! You are always there in my Dad, in my Mum, in my Friends, in everyone! It's just that people don't see You always. I always see You only in all! But I need Your Grace to see You in Me. Help me Krishna! Like you helped Arjuna see it! And that is all I ask!
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Dear friend, I miss you!

Sitting near my window in my room, with a cup of milo in my hand, my mind just whirled back to the past. Wondering why he hasn't mailed... Wondering why he hasn't smsed... Wondering why he hasn't made any efforts to keep in touch... Since the time he had left to go back home.

It was such a wonderful friendship. I've never felt this close or this free with any guy before. And when I finally start to make a connection, I feel it slipping away from my hands...

I keep wondering how did this friendship form. I keep wondering if it would still be the same as before after he comes back.

I only hope it will last for a long time. 'Cos my friend, I miss you so much!

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Monday, January 4, 2010

Sleep deprivation... silent killer!

"...There is also a growing recognition that sleep restriction is a risk factor for significant metabolic dysfunction. Sleep deprivation could be the silent killer of the 21st Century but in a different way from how hypertension was similarly labelled in the 20th Century."
Prof Michael Chee, Cognitive Neuroscience Lab(, Duke-NUS Graduate Medical School Singapore

For more information, visit

So one more "to-do" to include in my New Year Resolution list: Go to bed early!!
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Sunday, January 3, 2010

First post for 2010 :)

I didn't really have a fresh start for the new year. I woke up in the morning as usual at 10am. I didn't really plan to wake up earlier and offer prayers to God. But the day was the start of a new year. So it just naturally happened that after taking my shower, I lighted up the lamp in my prayer "room". And also in my room.

I have a small Krishna shrine in my room. At one corner of the room. I have this because my prayer "room" in the hall is not really a conducive place to sit and worship with a peaceful mind. Well, I don't really offer regular prayers in my room either, which supposedly I should be doing everyday, 3 times a day (morning, noon, and evening). So this year, my resolution would be the following:

1) Pray everyday, at least once, even if it is just lighting a small lamp in the main shrine in the hall, or in the small shrine in your room.

2) Chant a shloka or do japa of "Om Namah Shivaya" 108 times everyday, once would do.

3) Read and understand the Home Study Course of Bhagavad Gita Vol I everyday for atleast 5 minutes, before going to bed. After Vol I is finished, proceed to Vol II.

Out of the 3 resolutions above, I am successfully doing no. 3, but no. 1 and no. 2, I've been doing them irregularly. It is actually just a matter of making it a habit. When you do something everyday, you will automatically adopt it as part of your daily routine. It's just like how you take a shower everyday without fail. You will never go like, "Oops! I forgot to take my shower today before I left my house!" right? So I hope to achieve the above 3 resolutions this year, in a proper manner!

When I was regularly going to my Hinduism classes, I do all the 3 above everyday you know. But when the semester got so hectic, and exams started nearing, I just couldn't be consistent. And now it has become very irregular. And the worst part of it all is, I can actually feel the difference in my mental state! Like while I was praying, chanting, meditating and reading everyday, my mental state was calm and composed. Now, after I've stopped doing all these, I can see that things around me and even my mental state has changed. I'm feeling slacky more often, lazy more like. I'm not imagining anything, and neither is it something to do with psychology, I can tell this for sure. And I can't even properly describe the feeling. So by starting to pray, chant and meditate everyday, I'm hoping to freshen up my mental state and start this new year properly.

My other resolutions would be:

4) This time around, be consistent in your studies. This might be your last semester, so put in all your hard work and do well. Increase your chances of improving your grades, try aiming for Honours.

5) Be more health-conscious, avoid junk food, try to exercise more this year and loose weight as much as you can. Walk 5 times a week for 45-60 minutes.

6) Enjoy your final semester in NUS as much as you can. But put your studies first when needed.

7) Put aside some time to catch up with friends overseas.

8) Put aside some time to spend time with yourself.

9) Buy more clothes in the second half of the year, for work (if you're not doing Honours).

10) Keep this list of resolutions alive!

Haha... That should be all. Maybe there is more, maybe not.
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