...

I miss D.

I miss P.

I miss M.

Why are all my

loved ones far away

from me this sem?

:(

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Why there is nothing different between a man and a woman...

There is an issue for which we don't give much thought to and we just carry on with our lives. That issue is gender. Just look around you. Everything is gendered. Starting from names, toilets, clothes, accessories, to behaviours, practices, and code of conduct. Movies exhibit these gender differences very well, and the media has been a major contributing factor for instilling notions of maleness or femaleness in our minds.

Take an example of going out on a date with a guy/girl. Girls usually dress up for the guys. Guys open doors for the girls and pull out the chairs for them to sit. Guys pay for the dinner. A very typical gendered notion comes into our minds when we think of a setting in a date. This is just an example. Infact, everything in our lives is gendered in one way or another. Even the way we dress.

But come to think of it, why do these differences in roles, behaviours and practices exist in the first place? The main reason is that it has been a social construct. All these behaviours and so-called rules on how a man and a woman are supposed to behave have been construed by the society. Things like a man should not cry or display emotions, a woman should be submissive and sensitive, etc.

Let's look at this objectively. The only thing that is different between a man and a woman is the biological role. Man can provide one part of the haploid cell that can fuse with the other part of the haploid cell in the woman and the woman can give birth to a child. That is all the difference. The difference stops there. Consider the rest, with regards to rights, education, freedom of speech, freedom of thought, etc. They are all the same for both men and women. No one has a particular superiority or inferiority title attached to them. Because after the child, it becomes the responsibility of BOTH the men and the women to take care of the child, not just the women.

So my fellow humans, let's break down this polarity. Let's break down these differences. Men and women are both humans, that's all. There are no differences between them. The roles might be different biologically, but that doesn't confer a difference in cognition and expression of emotions. Because there are women out their who are emotionally strong and there are men out there who are emotionally weak. So we cannot generalise and demarcate the differences.

It is ok for guys to cry too. It is alright for women to speak out loud. It is alright for guys to put on make-up to present themselves better. It is alright if girls don't put make-up on or dress nicely in uncomfortable clothes. Let's just deconstruct all these differences and the next time you do anything, think if your behaviour is in any way gendered. If it is, then understand that you needn't necessarily label it as such.

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Interesting Neeya Naana episode...

This episode of Neeya Naana, although it is quite old, is really amazing! I am very impressed at the views expressed by the youngsters today. Do go to Youtube.com and watch the entire episode, while I am only embedding the 1st part of the show here:

I think it is the 5th part of this episode videos,in which the topic about thaali (the sacred thread) comes about. Many of the males in the opposition side bravely raised their hands and said that they will not tie thaali in their marriage ritual! I am simply amazed! And not to mention these people are from "staunch" countries like Madurai, Dindukkal, etc., where the tradition and religious practices are deeply rooted in the society.

My personal opinion on this subject matter, on whether marriage rituals are necessary or not, is entirely objective. As long as you do not see any value for the rituals, you don't have to follow it. It is entirely your choice. But because I see a certain value to these rituals, I know they have meanings, they serve a certain purpose, I would go for it.

The so-called sacred thread, thaali, did not even exist back then, many centuries ago! It became a necessity somewhere just a few centuries ago, probably because of Mughal and British invasions. But now, in a free society, I think there isn't any need for thaali anymore.

So back then what ritual was there that thaali-tying has now replaced? You must be wondering... Well, there was a ritual called "kanya daanam". The father of the bride will bring both the bride's and the bridegroom's hands together and join them together. Plus there is the Saptapadi (7 vows taken in 7 steps around the sacred fire). After joining hands, the couple has to take their 7 vows together. That is all there is for marriage, no thaali tying all.

For me, I don't know if I will wear a thaali. I want my marriage to take place as per the original Hindu ritual where there is kanya daanam, and all, but no thaali tying. But I don't know whether this will happen in this way. There is no use in wishing for something and building up expectations for something and in the end, it not happening and you getting disappointed. So I am going to just leave it at that.

Thaali = male domination: Now this is an interesting viewpoint. I never thought about this! But come to think of it, it is really male domination! IF and only IF the males have forgotten that they have to wear their metti (toe ring)!!!

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Happiness expires in....

I don't understand why people still hanker after happiness, one after another, even though they know that it will not last forever... Everything in this world seems to have  an expiration date stamped on it; "Gives happiness till xx-xx-xxxx"! I'm so sick and tired of running after something, hoping I will be happy after I get it, and then the next day, realising that the thing has changed or I have changed.

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Tough choice.... Feeling down...

Sigh... Now I have to drop my MNO1001 Management and Organisation module so that I can take LAH2201 Hindi 2... I really wanted both the modules, but they are clashing, so I had to choose one. I chose Hindi, although I wanted MNO1001 since my first year.

I oddly feel so lonely nowadays... It has been ages since I've gone out with my friends. Why am I feeling like this? Not only that, but I also feel I have no friends who understand me fully. I am not saying that they have not been good friends. But just that I want to have a friend who understands me better than anyone else. Someone with whom I can relate to very well, and share my feelings with without any restrictions.

You know sometimes this kind of friend can even be a stranger. It is funny, but sometimes with a stranger you can be very free and outspoken, especially because you have no expectations from him/her. It is an odd feeling. I know this but I have not experienced this.

I don't know why I am feeling this way. I have to get used to my loneliness and to the fact that there is only me who understands me better than anyone else. Or I should say there is only God who understands me better than anyone else. And I happy with this.

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I got all my modules!!

Ahh... I'm so happy today. My presentation in Hinduism class went well :) My group was the first one to go, thank God! And so we finished it off. I was alright despite the fact that we only prepared on the day itself. I didn't stammer this time, and my friend said I did well... I can't believe it, but I am happy nonetheless.

Amongst all this tension, I did not check my bidding status for my modules. I bid only in the morning at 9am. I put 1200 points for MNO1001 Management and Organisation, and 840 points for SC2220 Gender Studies. The winning bids for MNO1001 was 651 and for SC2220 was 701. Thank God I got the modules!

I have always wanted to take MNO1001, since my first semester here in NUS. Now, I got the module when I have reached the end of my NUS life :( Well, I hope I would do well in this semester and I could continue on for my 4th year. Let's see...

So this is my timetable for this semester:

It seems like I have so much of free time right? Haha. That is just an illusion. Only 4 modules are shown here. Well, I have a 5th module, which is my UROPS (Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program in Science) project. I would be spending all my free time and late nights in my lab doing experiments... Sigh. So this semester is not that easy for me. I would still have presentations, homeworks, etc. Especially this semester I am learning a new language, Hindi. Also not to mention, the Diploma course I'm doing every Sat. I'm thinking of also taking the Sanskrit Course conducted in Hindu Centre. So this semester will be a heavy one, but I will enjoy it for sure, as I am doing everything which I really like doing! :)

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Layout..

Now, I am completely satisfied with the way my blog looks... :)

Hope I won't change it till next year... Haha..

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Arrrrggghhhhhh!! I want a nice layout for my blog.... Why do I get so bored of whatever layout I put up?? I know what I am looking for, now why can't I find it!!! This layout is not working for me... :( Sorry ppl, I'm gonna keep changing the layout, bear with me.... This one stinks... The links above don't even work.. :(

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What will you do?

What will you do if someone thinks bad of you even when you only meant good?

What will you do if someone thinks you are faking a smile, when you smiled sincerely from your heart?

What will you do if someone thinks you are a trickster, when you are only being friendly with them?

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Kai Kodutha Deivam (The God who helped)

Something amazing happened today... Although things went bad in the lab today, help came to me at the right time. I still can't believe it.

It was 8pm and I was still in my lab. My autoclave all went wrong so everything got delayed, but I wasn't panicking. I was cool.

After my autoclave was done, I had to immediately do inoculation. But before that, I had to check the machine in which I'm going to put the flasks in. I checked and I found that most of the racks were already in use, although I booked the machine. I was irritated at that point of time.

But there was still some space. Just when I thought, okay thank God, there is some space to put my flasks in, then came another problem. I couldn't find the racks that fit my 1L flasks. Well, I did find them, but I didn't know how t fix them. There were so many samples in the machine already!

I was almost about to give up and thought I would do the inoculation tomorrow. I stood there and thought for a while what to do. There were only a few people in that floor and I didn't know anyone there. Sigh..

Just when I was about to give up, a man came in and asked me if I was using the hood, in which I left my stuff. I said yes, I will be done soon. He was about to leave, but then I was desperate so I called him and asked if he could help me fix the racks.

Well, it is not really a tough job to fix the racks, but the thing is I've never done it before. The guy helped me fix the racks. For him, he had to finish his work soon and go home. I was in his way, and helping me would help him in a way. But still, you have no idea how glad I was to have someone help me just when I needed help!!!

This is not the first time this happened to me. This has happened a lot of times to me. Whenever I needed help, it came to me at the right time, usually in some form; person or object.

Wait, there's more...

So after finishing everything, I left home, thinking how lucky I was to get some help at the right time. I mean for you, the readers, this might seem like a small thing, but I was in the situation, so I know how much it means to me. So when I got back home, the first thing I did was tell my mum and dad about this. They were watching Vannathirai channel. And you know what was the title of the movie that they aired today??

KAI KODUTHA DEIVAM!!!

I was so shocked! Pleasantly surprised more like! Now, what are the odds that this movie was to be aired today, just when I had gone through something similar? Gosh, I was so shocked!

Kanna! You are simply wonderful! You are always there for me, looking after me, taking care of me, being there when I am happy and sad! I haven't prayed to You for some time, and yet You never fail to help me when in need! I only have to exclaim, "Krishna! What is this? Why am I put to test like this all the time?" And that's it! You come there, in some form, to help me! I see You in all the people around me! You are always there in my Dad, in my Mum, in my Friends, in everyone! It's just that people don't see You always. I always see You only in all! But I need Your Grace to see You in Me. Help me Krishna! Like you helped Arjuna see it! And that is all I ask!

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Dear friend, I miss you!

Sitting near my window in my room, with a cup of milo in my hand, my mind just whirled back to the past. Wondering why he hasn't mailed... Wondering why he hasn't smsed... Wondering why he hasn't made any efforts to keep in touch... Since the time he had left to go back home.

It was such a wonderful friendship. I've never felt this close or this free with any guy before. And when I finally start to make a connection, I feel it slipping away from my hands...

I keep wondering how did this friendship form. I keep wondering if it would still be the same as before after he comes back.

I only hope it will last for a long time. 'Cos my friend, I miss you so much!

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Sleep deprivation... silent killer!

"...There is also a growing recognition that sleep restriction is a risk factor for significant metabolic dysfunction. Sleep deprivation could be the silent killer of the 21st Century but in a different way from how hypertension was similarly labelled in the 20th Century."
Prof Michael Chee, Cognitive Neuroscience Lab(www.cogneuro-lab.org), Duke-NUS Graduate Medical School Singapore

For more information, visit http://www.nus.edu.sg/research/rg124.php

So one more "to-do" to include in my New Year Resolution list: Go to bed early!!

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First post for 2010 :)

I didn't really have a fresh start for the new year. I woke up in the morning as usual at 10am. I didn't really plan to wake up earlier and offer prayers to God. But the day was the start of a new year. So it just naturally happened that after taking my shower, I lighted up the lamp in my prayer "room". And also in my room.

I have a small Krishna shrine in my room. At one corner of the room. I have this because my prayer "room" in the hall is not really a conducive place to sit and worship with a peaceful mind. Well, I don't really offer regular prayers in my room either, which supposedly I should be doing everyday, 3 times a day (morning, noon, and evening). So this year, my resolution would be the following:

1) Pray everyday, at least once, even if it is just lighting a small lamp in the main shrine in the hall, or in the small shrine in your room.

2) Chant a shloka or do japa of "Om Namah Shivaya" 108 times everyday, once would do.

3) Read and understand the Home Study Course of Bhagavad Gita Vol I everyday for atleast 5 minutes, before going to bed. After Vol I is finished, proceed to Vol II.

Out of the 3 resolutions above, I am successfully doing no. 3, but no. 1 and no. 2, I've been doing them irregularly. It is actually just a matter of making it a habit. When you do something everyday, you will automatically adopt it as part of your daily routine. It's just like how you take a shower everyday without fail. You will never go like, "Oops! I forgot to take my shower today before I left my house!" right? So I hope to achieve the above 3 resolutions this year, in a proper manner!

When I was regularly going to my Hinduism classes, I do all the 3 above everyday you know. But when the semester got so hectic, and exams started nearing, I just couldn't be consistent. And now it has become very irregular. And the worst part of it all is, I can actually feel the difference in my mental state! Like while I was praying, chanting, meditating and reading everyday, my mental state was calm and composed. Now, after I've stopped doing all these, I can see that things around me and even my mental state has changed. I'm feeling slacky more often, lazy more like. I'm not imagining anything, and neither is it something to do with psychology, I can tell this for sure. And I can't even properly describe the feeling. So by starting to pray, chant and meditate everyday, I'm hoping to freshen up my mental state and start this new year properly.

My other resolutions would be:

4) This time around, be consistent in your studies. This might be your last semester, so put in all your hard work and do well. Increase your chances of improving your grades, try aiming for Honours.

5) Be more health-conscious, avoid junk food, try to exercise more this year and loose weight as much as you can. Walk 5 times a week for 45-60 minutes.

6) Enjoy your final semester in NUS as much as you can. But put your studies first when needed.

7) Put aside some time to catch up with friends overseas.

8) Put aside some time to spend time with yourself.

9) Buy more clothes in the second half of the year, for work (if you're not doing Honours).

10) Keep this list of resolutions alive!

Haha... That should be all. Maybe there is more, maybe not.

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