My thoughts run free here...

Friday, September 15, 2006

Broken heart...broken friendship

It can sometimes be very depressing when you lose the friendship that you held so dear to your heart. And sometimes people will feel anger, anxiety and sadness all at the same time. I was like that too when a good friend of mine broke up her friendship with us and left. It happened so long time ago and why am i writing about it now? Because only now i feel comfortable in expressing my thoughts about the whole episode that happened. Even now i wonder, whether it could have just been some communication misunderstanding. Or was there a strain in our friendship since the start itself.

The most saddest part of the whole thing that happened was that I didn't even know what was happening the whole time. Did someone didn't tell me something deliberately? And why did she accuse me of backstabing her, when i clearly don't remember doing anything very bad like that? And backstabing her on what? Until now, i'm still in the dark. I myself have told her during some instances that i don't like backstabing people. Like talking badly behind their backs to other people and so on. I might do those things in my mind but not openly in front of others. It is not in my habit. And even if i did something wrong unknowingly that has hurt her so much, i want to let her know that i'm ashamed of myself of such behaviour and that i'm sorry. Very sorry. I'm a kind of person who tolerates other people's habits and behaviours and i won't tell anything bad or offensive to hurt them. Being with me for so long, she didn't even understand that.

I thought that she was a nice and fun person to be with. But she turned out to be someone else, whom i couldn't understand. She keeps in contact with my classmates. And i'm glad about that. Anyone could easily get along with her. She is a nice person on the whole. That is what i thought about her and still do so. But i clearly don't understand what's her bloody problem now?

I'm done and through with my rantings. The identity of 'her' is only known to my close friends and 'her'self. I thank God for giving me a friendship that ended up in a failure, because the whole episode has taught me a good lesson. I'll not have such a close friendship with someone, who is entirely in a different wavelength compared to me, in the future. If you know what i mean. Such friendships between two very different people rarely last long, though there are exceptions. It is the friendship between people who are of the same wavelength that lasts quite long. Some out there wouldn't agree with me. A friendship will last long if we commit to keep in touch as long as we could. Once that commitment is lost, no matter how close that friendship once was, it will never be the same again.


Anonymous said...

Hey Priya, Kalpsi here, I ABSOLUTELY agree with you, committment is really necessary to maintain friendship & any other relationship for that matter. I'm glad you feel better enough to talk about it, don't worry you don't sound like you're ranting, she's definitely not OUR wavelength.

Priya said...

Thanks for commenting dear. Yes, i feel much better now. I'm learning how to face realities now. Previously i ran away from all my problems. Only now i'm brave enough to face them and challenge them. I've tried to forget about her and i've succeeded. When i sat with her during the Honour's Night rehearsal, i thought i would puke! But i didn't feel anything at all. It didn't seem awkward. No, i am not in denial or anything. But i felt better after the whole thing. Need to go through it again tomorrow! How sad! See you in school jaan. Don't worry about the wisdom tooth. The dentist will give you a local anaesthetic first. You will only feel a little pain after that:) I've gone before and i know.

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